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Football for the true believers

By Michael Viljoen - posted Tuesday, 17 March 2009


“In the southern parts of the Great South Land of Australia, exists a game which transcends all others which presume to use the name football. It is not rugby, nor is it gridiron. It is far removed from soccer. Though arising from the same primordial sporting soup as these games, it shares no genetic link.

“To the uninitiated it is known as Australian Rules football. Some English scoffers deride it as ‘No Rules’ football, rightfully bestowing on it its primal qualities, paramount in the pantheon of games. For its origin reaches far back into the antiquities, even touching memories of the Dreamtime.

“Other advents in football were stillborn. In the 14th century Mob football was banned in London by edict of King Edward II. Fifteenth century Calcio, a 27-a-side game sponsored by the nobility of Florence, today only exists as an amusement in Italian festivals.

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“Sixteenth century proponents of Sunday observances in Ireland tried but fortunately failed to stop the development of Gaelic football.

“Now the authentic game was ready to emerge at the confluence of these streams. Settlers from the British Isles, brought up on the traditions of cricket and Irish games, caid and hurling, came to find gold in the Victorian goldfields. They noticed the playful pastimes of the nimble footed hunters amongst local aboriginal tribes. God had allowed the royal bloodlines to touch. New life had evolved; a game which now enthrals while encapsulating the Australian spirit.

“The Melbourne Football Club was established and the rules first codified in 1859.

“Its playing field is larger than all other codes, mirroring Australia’s vast and empty terrain.

“The oval shaped ball alludes to the Australian sense of chance and opportunity, which dictates that the ball will eventually bounce your way.

“Loose interpretations governing the umpire’s whistle keep the ball moving fluidly. Such freedom of mobility satisfies the yearning of the Australian people. Once a colony fettered by convict chains, now its own island nation; a free land with no borders. Here there exists no off-side rule.

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“Football encompasses the finest in human endeavour: the courage and sacrifice required of a body contact sport; the endurance of a marathon runner; the speed and agility to move the ball as swiftly as the wind; the camaraderie which willingly obeys team tactics and master strategies devised by a chess literate coach, released by bursts of individual heroism.

“Accompanied by slick and refined skills, surpassed only by concert trained musicians, some say footballers ought to be watched while listening to classical music.

“Recalling time’s first moment, when the fabric of the cosmos was stretched, wormholes momentarily appear in the playing field where gravity is reversed and once mortals ascend on angels’ paths.

“This is football as it was in the beginning. So shall it always be.

“Our indigenous game unfortunately has not laid claim to foreign shores. But I have now come to understand the unanswerable question, the vacant or quizzical expression which arises on the face of any Cameroonian when asked, ‘Do you think that your mother tongue language will ever die?’ This is no more as ridiculous a question as putting to an Australian such as me, ‘Why don’t you encourage your son to play soccer?’

“We don’t know what language will be spoken in heaven but we know what game will be played.”
 
Michael Viljoen senior, is reputed to have broken some kind of record by playing 36 seasons of cricket without missing a game, 18 in South Africa and 18 in Australia. He has been present at all of the last 25 AFL Grand Finals.

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About the Author

Michael Viljoen works as a linguist/translator with Wycliffe Australia, an organisation committed to minority peoples and languages around the world in the fields of literacy, translation and literature production.

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