Stepfamilies have special needs

OK, so some say she can have children, but must be prepared to go back to work very soon to afford them. Those new to stepfamilies feel this is the solution to this difficult problem. Many women in this situation have reported that this was the best option and have gone on to have children.

What these new mums were not prepared for was the overwhelming desire to stay at home when their baby was born. They were not content with putting their children in childcare, to go back to work and supplement the income. This was especially so when the mother of the “first” children is entitled to support that enables them to care for their children before school age.

The Child Support Agency does have legislation in place that attempts to deal with some of these concerns. However, it is flawed and does not fully encompass the extent of the financial problems experienced by some stepfamilies. The new legislation to be introduced does not do enough to address these issues either and difficulties will continue.

This opinion does not mean to denigrate any other family form. Single parents (usually mothers) do an amazing job raising their children, sometimes with both financial and with the other parents’ assistance, sometimes totally alone. Non-residential parents (usually fathers) try to remain involved and active in their children’s lives and assist financially and parentally.

Stepfamilies are usually the path travelled after these initial separation periods. Many couples in stepfamilies have wonderful strengths and visions to keep their families a happy and healthy place for their children to be raised. As with all families, stepfamilies need support and understanding.

They have to deal with all the usual parenting problems, sometimes with uncooperative ex-partners, ex in-laws, and other friends. But many do so with optimism, love and honesty. It is important to the mainstream community that agencies and laws consider stepfamilies as legitimate social family forms and offer the support needed to prevent further familial breakdown.