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Intimate support: a personal insight

By David Heckendorf - posted Wednesday, 13 April 2016


In early 2011 we arranged for sex worker, Joanne, to begin working with us. With each visit we had to remind ourselves that she wasn't there to make 'love' to us. Rather, in the same way that our support staff ensure that we remain in good physical health - by showering, feeding, and dressing us - Joanne helps us to maintain good sexual health.

Also in 2011 we successfully approached the ACT Government to extend the funding of our disability care support to cover these conjugal support services. In December 2015, the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) agreed that, in our situation, a modest allowance for conjugal support service would be reasonable and necessary.

Jenni and I still enjoy doing a lot of activities together. For instance, we work out at the Spastic Centre's (now the 'Cerebral Palsy Alliance') Canberra gym, challenge each other at online Yahtzee, visit our favourite local café for morning coffees, and cuddle up in front of our favourite television shows and movies.

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Doubtlessly, sex is critical to all marriages. Our love for one another and shared history means sex is important for our marriage too. And, just as with other activities, we just need the right support to make this part of our life happen.

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About the Author

David Heckendorf has profound Cerebral Palsy, which affects his physical ability to care for himself. Notwithstanding these limitations he holds a Masters of Laws Degree from the Australian National University and has in excess of a decade employment experience within the Australian and ACT Public Service. The opinions he expresses are his own.

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