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A globalised world of Whimsies

By Dirk Flinthart - posted Wednesday, 15 August 2001

Globalisation: so what's new, eh?

Look, it's been around for ages. There is very little you need to know about Globalisation as a phenomenon that you cannot get from a quick sampling of history's less savoury pages. Here is how to recognize the process of Globalisation at work:

1. It is always done for the Greater Good.


2. The Greater Good always means exactly what the Globalisers want it to mean, not what you might think it means. Or anybody else, for that matter.

3. People who are pro-Globalisation are full of mind-numbingly boring rhetoric.

4. People who are publicly against Globalisation are either dead, in prison ... or on a waiting list

5. The law is almost always on the side of the Globalisers

6. So are most of the guns.

7. However, Globalisers do not have a sense of humour. This is the easiest way to spot them.


With those seven simple rules in mind, I propose this short tour of the History of Globalisation. – This link will take you to a brief introduction to some of history's great globalisers, such as they were. I wish I could tell you this was humour ... I mean, that's my job, right? Sadly, these guys make my point all too clearly. The owners of this site are very big on the "Business Is War" thing. I recommend you wander about two thirds of the way down the left-hand side and check out the really lame jokes under Genghis Khan. You'll find a link there which takes you to the book this mob are flogging off:

Still think Globalisation is a shiny new issue after that? I can't resist this – a link to one of my all-time favourite films, all about the career of the Great Globaliser Genghis "Why can't anybody put the bloody 'h' in the right place in my name?" Khan. I feel it adds no end of poignancy to the story of one of the truly magnificent early efforts at Total Globalisation:

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About the Author

Dirk Flinthart is a writer and student who lives in Tasmania.

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