Errr... what? The political and economic implications of the
Kyoto Protocols? Strewth! That concept is funny enough in its own right!
Political implications of anything are a crapshoot, and even economists
never agree on economics, so what the hell am I supposed to say about
economic implications of a set of inadequate pollution controls which will
never be implemented anyway? Me with my major in Entomology, of all things.
Ask me for the bug's-eye view of the Kyoto thingies. Then I might have
something to say!
Still, I suppose I'd better come up with something. Let me just wave the
old prognosticator's wand... siddown in the back, dammit: prognostication is
still legal in this state, I think. Oh. Okay: here's one: Ahem... 'Quorn'
will not become any more popular as a result of the Kyoto Protocols, but due
to the non-implementation of those protocols (and their basic
ineffectiveness in the first place) a lot more people are gonna wind up
eating the stuff. Bleah!
'Quorn'. Who comes up with a name like that, anyhow? Surely a moment of
genius in the history of marketing...
Anyway, then there's that 'Asian Brown Cloud' thing.
At first, I thought I had the answer. The obvious cause of a giant brown
cloud over Asia was clearly the huge methane output of all those cows in
India. I mean, we're talking a billion or more cattle, farting away all day
long. No wonder the pollution cloud is brown, I thought. Then I found out
that cows don't pump methane the way people do. They burp it instead, and
it's not brown and stanky at all...http://www.scoop.co.nz/mason/stories/HL0102/S00127.htm
But you know, the Kyoto Protocols don't say a damned thing about cows
anyway. So my plan to create millions of Aged Care Facilities For Sacred
Cows across India, managed by Bronwyn Bishop and funded by McDonalds, is
doomed to come to naught. Pity. However, the problem has not gone unnoticed.
Those cunning devils down at CSIRO Central have noticed something about
Skippy which is rather different from Bessy...http://www.pe.com/columns/jeffgirod/PE_ENT_ngirod09.a0c08.html
Anyway, the whole Asian Brown Cloud thing is a storm in a teacup. One
day, what with all the stars and galaxies being constantly in motion, the
solar system is going to pass through something like this:http://www.danielsen.com/jokes/spacebeer.txt
And what are your Kyoto Protocols going to do about that, eh?
Nothing in them about a rain of beer, I notice.
My personal suspicion is that George Dubya doesn't give a damn
about the Kyoto Protocols. In fact, I think he's based most of his
environmental thinking around this movie:http://www.badmovies.org/movies/gvssmog/
It's the only rational explanation I can come up with. By the way, while
visiting that excellent site, I must urge you to please, please play the
It won't enhance your understanding of the political and economic
repercussions of the Kyoto Protocols any more than this column did ... but
it's fun in a horrid way. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'd better
explore the rest of that website.
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