The masculinity crisis

The answer I believe is quite simple. “No, they haven't”. Any reform has to deal with ingrained bias against the male of the species in a lop-sided system such as ours. One could argue that there has been some improvement, but at what cost?

In talking to a friend of mine who practises family law, I was told that unfounded allegations of domestic violence against fathers rose almost 50 per cent over the first 12 months of the new amendments. Of course in the process the fathers in question are removed from their children because they are considered guilty until proven innocent.

What is the answer?

We have to again find our moral compass. What is so radical about a “presumption of equal parenting” in the event of family breakdown? Marriage is a covenant and if one party betrays the other that should also be taken into account in the application of the law. We cannot do away with right and wrong simply because we want to pretend they don't exist.

The real answer is for our society to find ways to support married couples in their most difficult times and not tout divorce as the ultimate cure-all for all marital difficulties. We need a marriage revolution and a renewal of the meaning of love.

The Australian Institute for Family Studies has declared after 30 years of empirical research that divorce is generally bad for both children and adults alike. That is something I could have told them 40 years ago as a young child growing up in a broken home.

The crisis in masculinity and the crisis in men’s health are closely related to the rampant discrimination men endure at the hands of the system and the massive health funding inequities between men and women. These inequities require the investment of tens of billions of dollars just to achieve parity. That’s why the government’s recent announcement of $17 million over four years to address the crisis in men's health is such a joke.

This equates to 38 cents per male per year, which is not even enough to cover the cost of two Panadol tablets for relief of the common cold. How is that going to solve the men’s health crisis?

Regarding the deeper issues: men have to discover their manhood again. The father wound runs deep. We have to address the issue of fatherlessness. We need healing for the masculine soul. The change of law is the easy part. The change of heart is much harder. Our society must again learn the golden rule and practice it.

This is not something that can be forced and generally speaking, it is better caught than taught. It starts when we admit that we all share part of the blame.

This change begins when we practice forgiveness with each other, and I am sure we will not run out of opportunities to do so. Just ask my wife.

Let me finish by sharing with you what I believe could be the beginning of the answer.