Public property

For starters I was an adult, not a child, when I disclosed. It was also my own decision to disclose and when I did, I retained full control over how and where I disclosed. Unlike this 14-year-old girl, I did not (and would not) have first disclosed on live radio or live TV. Instead I disclosed in the print media meaning that I had time to select exactly what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it.

At the time I was also working in the Media and Communications Department at Sydney University. This meant that I had access to a team of media analysts, practitioners and lecturers, all of whom were willing to share their expertise and professional advice.

They taught me how to deflect insensitive or offensive comments and they gave in depth advice on how to reframe intrusive questions into questions that I was comfortable answering. This was not about teaching me to be manipulative or evasive. It was about teaching me basic techniques that I would need to survive the media scrum that followed. But very few victims have access to such resources and not all victims are supported by their families and communities when they disclose.

Similarly, even victims who have a strong support network around them can still be damaged by the press that follows disclosure. In her book The Making of Me, gang rape survivor Tegan Wagner talks about the teasing and harassment she experienced after making the brave decision to speak out against her abusers.

And I guess that’s the rub. No matter what support networks you might have in place the fact is that once you go public, your life experience no longer belongs to you alone; it becomes public property and you cannot control how people judge it or the types of conversations that flow out of it.

As with everything the trick is to weigh up the various pros and cons, and to have damage control strategies already in place to deal with any backlash. That’s easier said than done. But if this country is ever going to have open discussions about sexual assault then we need more victims to speak out, and when they do, we need to support them.