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Who will speak for Andrew Symonds?

By Michael Gard - posted Friday, 6 February 2009


And what of his latest sins? Gideon Haigh, not noted for his sense of humour, argued this week that it was a disgrace that Symonds was not immediately suspended from playing cricket. For what? A few inelegant words and suddenly the Australian cricketing community has an axe-murderer on its hands?

Ever the optimist, I had hoped that the reason for such a “light” penalty was that Cricket Australia could see what a passing shower in a tea cup this whole episode has been and that a fine was their way of appeasing the wowsers and chronically up-tight. No such luck. In recent days we learn that Symonds’ sins are apparently so egregious that he will not be considered for the upcoming tour of South Africa.

For me, even the original $4,000 fine seemed an outrageous imposition for a couple of bawdy quips on live radio. But just like the North Melbourne football player who recently received a four-match suspension for speeding, Symonds is the utterly innocent victim of a sporting culture as puritan as anything Salem in the 1690s could manage.

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But every cloud has a silver lining. Symonds’ non-selection has produced a series of priceless quotes from Animal Farm’s (read Cricket Australia’s) all-walking, all-talking chief executive, James Sutherland. Sutherland assures us that Symonds is receiving re-education - he calls it “intense counselling” - and that Symonds “is making good progress”. His omission from the Australian team is, according to Sutherland, “a chance to work through his issues and to make sure that he has the right platform to come back to international cricket”.

“Progress”? “Issues”? “Platform”? Am I the only one who hears Mao and Little Red Books in all this?

Sutherland and Symonds’ many detractors would do well to remember that it was Andrew Symonds’ old, un-reconstructed “platform” that got him into the Australian cricket team in the first place. Cricket Australia’s efforts to get Symonds’ head right have nothing to do with his ability to play cricket and everything to do with its conservative corporate sponsors not wanting their precious brands sullied by bad press. Sutherland says that not taking Symonds to South Africa is “the right decision for Andrew Symonds and the right decision for Australian cricket”. This is not a cricket matter; it is about image and brand.

During his interview with Roy and HG, Symonds said that sports people should basically shut-up. I couldn’t agree more. I pine for the days when athletes did their thing and just disappeared. I don’t want to love them or hate them or listen to their views on, well, anything really. I just want to watch them.

Until that happens, perhaps we should just hand athletes scripts before every interview. Or employ actors. Either way, let us try to remember that Andrew Symonds is merely a cricketer and dispense with the ugly charade that sports people need to be nice people simply because their corporate masters say that they must be.

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About the Author

Michael Gard is a senior lecturer in dance, physical and health education at Charles Sturt University's Bathurst campus. He is the author of two books, The Obesity Epidemic: Science, Morality and Ideology (with Jan Wright) and Men Who Dance: Aesthetics, Athletics and the Art of Masculinity.

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