Jesus guilty! A slice of Roman talkback

NO shame! You've got this cheap-jack, upstart from - Gawd help us! - Galilee - Galilee, where they breed these political thugs by the bucketload! - and he plans attacks on the Temple -

Caller: Didn't just plan 'em, he attacked it!

That's it, that's it! Last week he goes round and smashes tables and whips the animals, and says "You've turned my father's house into a den of thieves!" - talk about the pot calling the kettle black! - then he's going to tear it down, and he says he's working for God and he's the King of the Jews. Well, the Sanhedrin didn't believe him, Pilate didn't believe him, and Herod didn't either. Not one, not two, THREE authorities ALL in agreement. And what they're saying is this: You are the worst of the worst, you don't belong in civilised society.

Caller: It's a joke, isn't it?

That's it, it's a joke. Well, who's laughing now? Next caller, hello?

Caller: Oh, good afternoon, Psittacus, I just wanted to ask, what IS this man's real name? Somewhere along the way I've lost track.

That's right, Agrippina! The names! The titles!

Caller: Son of God, Son of Man …

Listen, I've got the charge sheet right here, with all the aliases listed. He's been variously known as - are you listening to this? - Jesus bar Joseph - note the "bar", it means he's "son of" Joseph, so I don't know where he gets his other Father from! - Jesus of Nazareth, Jesus Christ, Joshua, Yeshua, EMMANUEL, Son of God, Son of Man, Son of the Blessed One, SON OF DAVID!!! I mean, the list just goes on and on!

Caller: Well, Psittacus, it just confirms to me, these people do have a personality problem. They don't know who they are, and they don't want us to know, either. But it doesn't stop them from rocking the boat, and let's face it, our society is already afloat on what is a very, very choppy lake.

Good call. Good call. Gee, the people aren't idiots are they? Caller, hello?

Caller: Mate, I heard he cured other people. Why didn't he just take himself down off the cross, if he's who he said he is?