Like what you've read?

On Line Opinion is the only Australian site where you get all sides of the story. We don't
charge, but we need your support. Here�s how you can help.

  • Advertise

    We have a monthly audience of 70,000 and advertising packages from $200 a month.

  • Volunteer

    We always need commissioning editors and sub-editors.

  • Contribute

    Got something to say? Submit an essay.

 The National Forum   Donate   Your Account   On Line Opinion   Forum   Blogs   Polling   About   
On Line Opinion logo ON LINE OPINION - Australia's e-journal of social and political debate


On Line Opinion is a not-for-profit publication and relies on the generosity of its sponsors, editors and contributors. If you would like to help, contact us.


RSS 2.0

Get yourself a cross-action stimulator, dual effect massager, with comfort grip!

By Adriana Maxwell - posted Tuesday, 1 February 2005

Do you want to build confidence by enjoying cross action stimulation with a dual effect massager with comfort grip? How about some firm professional triple action with your choice of full or standard head? This is guaranteed to give you maximum flexible performance advantage and it’s all clinically proven.

Confused? You shouldn’t be as I’m just down at the supermarket picking up a toothbrush.

The humble toothbrush and paste has come a long way in ten years. While the big decision used to be in deciding what colour brush you wanted, toothbrush design now seems to have been hijacked by the same people who produce Star Trek conventions.


Fuel for these tooth spaceships is also on the extraterrestrial radar with toothpaste choice a bewildering experience. How can you not be impressed by the option of extreme clean with micro active foaming bubbles? No longer must you accept simple fresh breath, it has to be advanced fresh or what about fresh confidence plus whitening? Decide now whether you want your whitening paste with or without tartar control or take the time to consider the advantages of anti-bacterial fluoride.

Health and safety awareness must make you wonder whether you really should be putting combined baking soda and peroxide into your mouth. If only I had paid more attention in school chemistry. Is it a sign of weakness to be seen buying fluoride gentle whitening or sensitive toothpaste with or without a fresh stripe?

Beam me up Scottie.

Freedom of choice is clearly not as great as it is cracked up to be. I am starting to regret having already used my old toothbrush to clean the bathroom drain.

Floss is another product caught in the expanding oral hygiene range as our dentists now routinely frighten us into believing that our molars will drop out if we do not regularly scour the gaps between our teeth. Fair enough but given that floss is visually identical in form to a small reel of cotton, you would think that competitors would be hard pressed to produce much choice here.

Think again.


A casual glance at the floss section of the supermarket and you will see the choice here includes waxed whitening, satin floss, essential floss, total care expanding gentle floss, denotape or mint waxed. The executive flosser can now impress his bathroom mirror with a vibrating power flosser and pick with disposable flosser and pick refills. Yes indeed, a great little stocking filler for Christmas.

Not content with mere brushing to keep your teeth white, you can now buy liquid whiteners to paint teeth so your secret life as a black tea drinking smoker with a taste for liquorice can be forever hidden from the casual observer. After a few red wines at the local pub you are now able to pop into the loo to powder your nose and touch up your teeth. Mind you, after a few drinks you do need to ensure that you don’t end up with powdered teeth and a white nose.

Back in the supermarket, I was drawn towards a double headed toothbrush with tongue scraper as it offered prospective buyers the opportunity of feeling the texture of the tongue scraper on a sample scratch and sniff pad attached to the packaging.

  1. Pages:
  2. Page 1
  3. 2
  4. All

First published in The Sydney Morning Herald on January 28, 2005.

Discuss in our Forums

See what other readers are saying about this article!

Click here to read & post comments.

2 posts so far.

Share this:
reddit this reddit thisbookmark with Del.icio.usdigg thisseed newsvineSeed NewsvineStumbleUpon StumbleUponsubmit to propellerkwoff it

About the Author

Adriana Maxwell is a writer, theatrical event specialist and corporate consultant now based in Jervis Bay.

Other articles by this Author

All articles by Adriana Maxwell
Article Tools
Comment 2 comments
Print Printable version
Subscribe Subscribe
Email Email a friend

About Us Search Discuss Feedback Legals Privacy