Australia day: if you keep picking, it will never get better

Another, broader thought: since the majority wants to retain the holiday, perhaps we might change the date to a month in which we presently have no holiday. February, sometimes March, May, July, August, September and November could be worth a look. That would offer a choice of some 170 weekdays (plus March if Easter falls in April).

There are other worthy contenders for the honour, some of which fall in January. For example, we could choose January 18^th: the day of first white settlement actually landing at Botany Bay. On that day, the indigenous people were kind enough to lead the parched Englishmen to “a very fine stream of fresh water”. Surely that’s rapprochement writ large.

Or we could have January 20^th, to mark Australia’s first “flasher”. Lt King describes the occasion thus: “by very plain Signs they wanted to know what sex we were, which they explained by pointing where it was distinguishable. As they took us for women, not having our beards grown, I ordered one of our people to undeceive them in this particular when they made a great shout of Admiration.” (I suspect the indigenous peoples would enjoy a joke of this sort at the white fella’s expense.) From the narrative that follows, the natives offered their women “in puris naturalibus”—not even a fig leaf—whose “persons were at our service”. (Rapprochement writ very large.)

Although “possession was taken for His Majesty” on January 26^th, a better date for Australia Day might be two days later (the 28^th.) when all the convict men were landed. On that day, Australia’s first contingent of builders’ labourers started work. We might even combine it with a Building Workers’ Picnic and arrange special honours for outstanding contributions in all the trades.

There are, however, two better-deserving dates in February: the 3^rd (which was Sunday) and 13^th, February, that ”beastly month” according to Gilbert’s Pirate King, offers no holiday to Australians, therefore a good month in which to celebrate Australia Day.

On February 3^rd, 1788, Governor Phillip read the King’s commission to the assembled First Fleeters: convicts, sailors and admin staff. It is especially important that the King’s directive made it clear that the natives be treated with kindness and consideration; a clause in his instructions that Arthur Phillip was determined to carry though—even at the expense (later) of taking a spear in his thigh.

Furthermore, the Rev Richard Johnson gave his first sermon “on grass” to a numerous, if not quite attentive, congregation. Johnson clearly appreciated his good fortune at being placed in such distressing circumstances as Australia proved to be, for he chose for the title of that sermon, from Psalm 116, verse 12: “What shall I render unto the Lord, for all his benefits towards me?”

February 13^th might also be considered a candidate for Australia Day. On that date in 1788, Arthur Phillip took the Oath of Abjuration before Judge Advocate Captain David Collins. Phillip declared in part “that our Sovereign Lord King George is lawful and rightful King of this Realm.” But, while that might bolster the status-quo-ers argument, it would probably irritate the indigenous peoples even more.

It’s still hard to go past February 29^th, for reasons stated above.

One could go on with possible dates, but if the inclination to divide rather than reconcile predominates, each will be as divisive as the other. For example, suppose the date was changed to something of which the date-changers approved, surely they wouldn’t find friends among the status quo-ers. To suggest “invasion” day or anything else will not please those who know from history that an “invasion” as it is commonly understood was never intended. Some indigenous Australians would like an extra holiday during which they would mourn the loss of their lands and properties but we really do have enough paid days off work already. Whatever we do, and for whatever reason, let’s sort this thing once and for all and stop picking at it every year, or it will never get better.

There is a compromise that could satisfy both sides of the dispute and not add to the number of national holidays. We might remove what many see as the odium of Australia Day, if we wait until the end of the queen’s reign. Then, after voting for a republic (which we surely will) replace Australia Day with Republic (or Remembrance) Day—a sort of Independence Day.

At the same time, we could replace the queen’s holiday in June with Mabo Day: June 3 (1992), which gives the aborigines their day. Both of these dates can be thought of as emotion-neutral.

Neither would impinge on the existing holiday regime. Which is, after all what most Aussies really care about.