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All you need is love

By Caryn Cridland - posted Wednesday, 6 February 2013


"What the World Needs Now is Love." The 1965 song written by Hal David couldn't be more apt right now. A few minutes of watching the evening news and you will agree! Night after night journalists bring us local and international stories of tragedy, of pain, of heartache.

Sure, occasionally the birth of an African animal at the local zoo will make it in just before the sport to provide us with some light relief. By this time, however, the tissue box is empty, unless we are an avid watcher of the news, and have become desensitised to the heartache.

Along the lines of Hal David, John Lennon similarly wrote, "All You Need is Love" in 1967. John Lennon was a musician, poet, composer, and social activist. Most of all he was a visionary. He ends the song with a clear message "…Love is all you need." A simple but profound message.

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In a 1971 interview when asked if the song was propaganda, Lennon is said to have replied, "Sure…I'm a revolutionary artist. My art is dedicated to change."

To John Lennon fans, these lyrics sound great, but what do they actually mean? What did visionary Lennon mean?

These words are some of the most profound words ever written.

Take some time for deeper reflection upon them and you will see that love is all you need and that love is everywhere.

You are a Miracle

The very reason every one of us on the planet is alive is an act of love - the sperm's relentless love for the ovum, and in most cases a man's love for a woman. Yet how many of us reflect with awe and gratitude on the immensity of Mother Nature to produce each and every one of us from microscopic cells?

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I have thought about it a few times, awkwardly as a child when learning about sex for the first time, inquisitively in biology classes as a teenager, but never with the gratitude I now feel as an adult for this miracle that has resulted in each one of us.

Each and every one of us is a miracle, a blessing. What is the chance of that particular sperm, reaching that particular ovum? Biologists tell us it is about a 1 in 20,000,000 - 500,000,000, depending on the health of the male partner.

How many times have you stopped for a few moments to rejoice in the gift of your own life? That Mother Nature chose you. Reflect upon the wonder, the awe, of your body organs that protect you, nourish you, and energise you. The wonder of your breath automatically programmed to keep you alive. What about the senses engaging you with the world. The brain enabling you to think, feel and act, and enjoy each of these while you do it. I could go on infinitely with the miracle that is you.

Acts of Love

It doesn't stop there. Love follows us throughout our life.

Right from the first few seconds, minutes, and hours of life we are loved via small acts. When a mother feeds her infant, despite her swollen and painful breasts, wakes in the small hours of the morning to her babies' cries, despite the ache of her tired body. When those assisting with the birth are awake late into the evening for extended labours, sometimes lasting days, awaiting the birth of the miracle that is you. When a father is so caught up in the miracle that he faints, or cries not noticing the nail and teeth marks on his arm from his partner's bite or grip – overwhelmed with the blessing that is you. This is love.

When parents wake to babies' cries in the middle of the night, despite a long week ahead at work. When a parent works many hours a week, travels hours to work, works in jobs they don't enjoy, even despise, for bosses that simply don't care, or for profit-at-all cost organisations, in order to feed and clothe and provide shelter for their family. This is love.

When we attend a friend's birthday, wedding or funeral, despite not feeling up to it. When we help others out, even when we need help ourselves, when we remember birthdays, make cups of tea, cook dinner, or bake cookies for friends, family, or customers... When we buy someone a coffee or dinner, or a present or we make someone a present or give them flowers. When we allow a stranger to go before us in a queue, give a stranger spare change, lend our phone to a stranger, lend something to a friend, walk someone's dog, collect their mail, give a friend a compliment… This is love.

Even on our deathbed, we often have friends and family, nurses, and doctors or someone by our side, nurturing us, fulfilling our dying wishes, attending to all our physical needs, holding our hand, and listening to our final words. This is love.

Love the Insignificant

The smallest, seemingly most insignificant acts are acts of love. Sometimes it is the seemingly smallest acts that are the most significant acts of love.

Think back on your life, how many times have you made judgments about people for acts or omissions that some may view as small and insignificant, and yet you let a friendship go or didn't return to the shop as a result.

Now think about the opposite, how many times have you made judgments about people. That there is something about that person, something so small and insignificant that you don't even know why it is that you immediately connected with them and a friendship developed in an instant.

What is the most significant seemingly insignificant act of love you benefitted from or witnessed this week? Pay it forward!

Love is in Each Moment

Love is everywhere. Sometimes we lose sight of it. I know I have at times. I think we all have. And this is when we struggle the most. We feel like we're swimming against the tide, even caught in a rip. At these times we don't recognise love is within us, and all around us, that we and everything and everyone around us are the products of the greatest acts of love of Mother Nature.

Why do we lose sight of love? In our rush for more money, assets, and indulgences, more friends on Facebook, more knowledge, more beauty, more power and so on, we sometimes lose sight of our loved ones staring us in the face or of the beauty of nature that surrounds us. The sun, the blue sky, the different shades of green in the trees.

How often are we like the exhausted dad who is trying to rest on the aeroplane near me as I write? He opens his eyes and angrily refuses his 10-year-old daughter's request to look at her Ipad for a few seconds. He is likely too exhausted from the extended hours he worked before the family left on holiday. In his act of love in providing for his family, he exhausts himself. He then loses a moment's opportunity for love with his daughter on the first evening of the family holiday.

Savour each moment with a loved one. What can you do to ensure you are able to savour each moment?

Love Spreads in Troubled Times

In some of the most troubled places on earth we witness the greatest acts of love. During war, famine, floods, fires, tsunamis, we witness the greatest heroics. People who naturally and selflessly love others enough to put themselves in danger or discomfort for the benefit of others.

Love is for ourselves, our families, our friends, our work colleagues, our neighbours, our acquaintances, the shop keeper, the person in front of us in peak hour traffic, the person on the other side of the world starving, the animal's habitat that is being destroyed for the sake of a non-essential product that could be produced by alternative means.

When we see love as less than all encompassing, we limit ourselves. We can experience love in each moment if we slow down and take in the miracles that are around us each and every day. Look up now and notice the clouds, the breeze in the trees, the sun.

Love is Self-love

Love is slowing down, and resting, allowing the body to relax. Love is accepting ourselves, and our so-called flaws, weaknesses, or limitations, forgiving our mistakes and feeling compassion for ourselves.

Allow yourself at least a little time each day to do something that shows you how much you love and care for yourself - play your guitar, sing a song, do yoga or meditation, spend time with your pet, walk in the fresh air, take a long bath, listen to your favourite music, eat your favourite meal and enjoy it, drink your favourite drink, watch your favourite movie, play your favourite sport. Do whatever makes you feel good.

Love is Loving Others

Love is accepting others, and their so-called flaws, weaknesses, or limitations, forgiving their mistakes, and showing them compassion even when they have hurt us or "wronged us".

Give others a little leeway each day. Instead of jumping to conclusions, think of 3 possible explanations for the behaviour you perceived, and then approach the person to talk about the situation with curiosity rather than conviction.

Love is Supporting Your Community

Attending local events, buying local produce, shopping locally, supporting local artists and musicians, and spreading the word to others so they too can enjoy your community. Each time we support our community we grow bonds and spread love around us. Start locally.

Love is Protecting Mother Nature

Love is looking after Mother Mature and the planet we live on. Our home. Always placing our rubbish in a bin, preferably a recycling bin, picking up rubbish we find in nature, particularly near water. Love is turning off lights, saving water, planting trees or preventing trees from being chopped down unnecessarily, only using the dryer when absolutely necessary, installing energy efficient lighting, using energy saving products, taking the bus or train and educating ourselves on ways that we can help to protect the planet.

Love is Making Wise Consumer Choices

Love is buying products and services from companies that care about you, the community, and nature. Each time you spend money your vote counts. Are you going to vote for companies that chop down old growth forests, destroy animal habitats, negligently leak oil into the sea, or use sweatshops? If you don't make these companies accountable, who will?

Each and every time you make a consumer decision and buy products and services from companies that don't love, that don't care, you are voting for irresponsible and profit-at-all-cost companies. This is perpetuating their ability to continue to destroy communities and nature. Make wise choices whenever you can.

Love is All You Need

Love is within you. It is within everyone everywhere. Feel love, see love, taste love, touch love, hear love and spread it in every way you can.

February is known as the "month of love," what is one thing you will do today for yourself, others, and nature that will spread love around the globe?

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About the Author

Caryn Cridland is a Psychologist, Lawyer, Mediator, Leadership Consultant and qualified Yoga Teacher. She is the Managing Director of Mindful Mediation, a specialist workplace mediation, facilitation, coaching, and training consultancy that provides services to leading organisations.

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