Like what you've read?

On Line Opinion is the only Australian site where you get all sides of the story. We don't
charge, but we need your support. Here�s how you can help.

  • Advertise

    We have a monthly audience of 70,000 and advertising packages from $200 a month.

  • Volunteer

    We always need commissioning editors and sub-editors.

  • Contribute

    Got something to say? Submit an essay.


 The National Forum   Donate   Your Account   On Line Opinion   Forum   Blogs   Polling   About   
On Line Opinion logo ON LINE OPINION - Australia's e-journal of social and political debate

Subscribe!
Subscribe





On Line Opinion is a not-for-profit publication and relies on the generosity of its sponsors, editors and contributors. If you would like to help, contact us.
___________

Syndicate
RSS/XML


RSS 2.0

Let's watch our judgmental language

By Richard Prendergast - posted Thursday, 13 July 2006


Which brings us to the crucial question: how can the church be better at “pastoring” its gay and lesbian sons and daughters? I believe this conversation could be helped by following a strategy employed by the members of the Second Vatican Council. Rather than trying to find a way to connect every development in the past two millennia of church history, go back to the source: the gospel of Jesus Christ. Specifically, let both sides use as a common foundation the new commandment of Jesus, “Love one another” (John 13:34). Many gays and lesbians express dismay that their attempts to follow this commandment are met with such hostility, while the bishops express dismay that their teachings, which flow from this commandment, are resisted and even rejected.

As the late Cardinal Joseph Bernardin, of Chicago, frequently insisted when dealing with groups in apparent opposition, dialogue needs to be entered into with the presumption on each side of the goodwill of the other. Demonising those who disagree, regardless of the topic, precludes dialogue.

Mutual respect is the necessary starting point. If we can begin with a presumption of goodwill and a foundation in the commandment of Jesus to love one another, three steps might follow to encourage a positive dialogue bringing both sides into closer communion. The first step is for both church leadership and members of the gay community to listen to each other while resisting the urge to speak in moral tones. Beginning with judgment leaves both sides aggrieved and feeling that if they dare to let their guard down for an instant, all will be lost.

Advertisement

Perhaps a sense of hope and direction can be found from the challenge of a younger generation that does not seem overly concerned about either side. Studies of younger Catholics indicate that for the under-30 generation, sexual orientation is not an issue. If we are to offer the next generation any wisdom, perhaps we first have to learn from them and acknowledge that both sides have something to offer and neither has all the answers. If we expect the younger members of our community to listen to us, we must first listen to one another.

The second step is to recognise that there is a lot of pain on both sides. Gays and lesbians feel they have been reduced to less than full human beings whose lived experiences are neither valued nor honoured. They point to the language of church documents and episcopal pronouncements when making their case. As Cardinal George said, language is a concern he shares. Because the language of morality and ethics is, by its very nature, judgmental, the church, even if it doesn’t want to be offensive, is perceived as offensive. Another way of speaking must be found that avoids this offence.

The gay community, on the other hand, has become so frustrated in attempting to dialogue with the official church that many members have given up and dismiss the church as having nothing to say in such an important area of life - sexuality. The gay and lesbian community needs to admit that two millennia of church experience and wisdom do have something to offer the discussion. In each recognition, there is an implied request for and granting of forgiveness - a positive and respectful human activity.

The third step is to encourage conversation at the local or parish level. If official statements can make the object of the discussion sound as though they are aliens, the local community or parish knows gays and lesbians as human beings - neighbours, school board members, CCD teachers, store owners, factory workers and fellow parents of children who share babysitters. The frightening and threatening predictions of certain pundits about the collapse of society if gays and lesbians were to receive equal respect and dignity is not matched with the reality of those who experience gays and lesbians living down the block and fully integrated as members of their families.

It seems generally accepted that asking individuals to live in a state of denial about their sexual orientation is unhealthy and destructive. Such denial is contrary to full human development and the journey toward holiness. The church needs to be a partner with those searching for such holiness.

Cardinal George reminded us that part of our job as pastors is to call people to conversion. Conversion always means change. He is correct in his summons, but it cannot be limited to the gay and lesbian members of our faith community. The church also is always called to conversion. The process I have outlined is one possible strategy for engaging both sides in a conversion process.

Advertisement

Lynne, Laura and Chloe deserve to have a welcoming church. And the church deserves to have them as members.

  1. Pages:
  2. 1
  3. Page 2
  4. All

This article was first published in the November 2004 (Volume 69, Number 11) issue of U.S. Catholic.



Discuss in our Forums

See what other readers are saying about this article!

Click here to read & post comments.

252 posts so far.

Share this:
reddit this reddit thisbookmark with del.icio.us Del.icio.usdigg thisseed newsvineSeed NewsvineStumbleUpon StumbleUponsubmit to propellerkwoff it

About the Author

Father Richard Prendergast is pastor of St. Josephat on the north side of Chicago, USA.

Creative Commons LicenseThis work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Article Tools
Comment 252 comments
Print Printable version
Subscribe Subscribe
Email Email a friend
Advertisement

About Us Search Discuss Feedback Legals Privacy