Offence is taken, not given

We are not victims of our feelings. Feeling offended is an emotion similar to anger, annoyance, sadness, loneliness and love. While they can each be quite powerful and we may not be aware we are making a decision to feel any of them, they are within our control. With the exception of depression, which can be a disease over which we can only exert limited control, none of them is involuntary.

Nobody forces us to fall in love or feel sad, so why should we attribute blame to those who prompt us to feel offended or insulted? Even when a comment is intended to be hurtful, or there is indifference as to whether hurt is caused, it is still up to us whether we take offence. We are responsible for our feelings and should accept responsibility for them. How we respond is also up to us.

The very idea that someone else has control over the way we feel is contrary to our sense of independence and self-ownership. If nobody can force us to think in a particular way, nobody can compel us to feel offended.

Unless a comment is coercive, by intimidating, threatening, tricking or forcing someone to do something against their will, responsibility for how it is received rests with the recipient. Those who feel offended are free to choose another feeling.

Filmmakers, cartoonists and authors should not be blamed when Islamists claim to be offended and engage in violent, destructive behaviour. Nobody needs to apologise and there is no necessity to disavow it. Responsibility rests entirely with those who have chosen to take offence and the response they choose to make.

Pale skinned part-aboriginals should not be entitled to blame others for comments to which they choose to take offence, and the law should not encourage them to do so. Moreover, nobody should claim that offence equates to discrimination. Taking offence is a feeling, voluntarily chosen. No matter how bigoted, ill-informed or obnoxious, someone else’s words are never the cause.

And commenting on the size of Nicola Roxon’s bum should never be illegal.