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If all men are monsters, how should we raise our boys?

By Peter West - posted Monday, 9 July 2012


Why does this pattern of male-bashing matter?

We are all trying to raise boys. We want boys to be healthy, to respect themselves and other people. We want them to be smart, achieving, compassionate people. And we want them to survive. Hardly a month goes by that I don't hear about a young male who's damaged his health with drugs, or risky behaviour. Some go all the way and suicide. Australia has the third highest rate of suicide among 16 to 25 year olds in the world. And we have hidden high suicide rates among older men that are usually put down to misadventure or illness.

I can't explain what would make a man like de Brito write in a way that continually belittles his own sex. I suspect that a psychologist would have a great deal to say about it. My training as a historian- let alone common sense- says it is perilous trying to argue from one case to the universal. "I think like this, therefore all men must be the same".

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I think Chloe Angyal, like some other doctrinaire feminists, feels important when she writes such anti-male diatribes, which have more in common with ideology than compassionate writing about fellow human beings. Listen as she writes about boys:

Do you have a gentleman in your life whom you would like to convert to the righteous and noble cause of feminism? Perhaps a young boy whom you would like to indoctrinate good and early?

Raising boys is too important to leave to those who want to mislead or indoctrinate them. I want to encourage mothers most of all, for they do such important work raising compassionate, thoughtful boys. I want to support dads. They are really important people who help shape a boy's values and habits. And of course I want to encourage boys themselves to live healthier, more meaningful lives. Let's avoid doctrinaire approaches and work together to raise boys in more thoughtful ways. Teachers, childcare workers, people from all religious groups, social workers - all have a part to play. Let's encourage boys to become men who want to love and be loved, who want to care for their own health and that of the people in their lives. Then we will have men we can all feel proud of who will work alongside women to create a better, more tolerant and compassionate world.

 

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This is a shortened version of a paper given at a symposium on men's issues at the University of Western Sydney on 5 July, 2012.



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About the Author

Dr Peter West is a well-known social commentator and an expert on men's and boys' issues. He is the author of Fathers, Sons and Lovers: Men Talk about Their Lives from the 1930s to Today (Finch,1996). He works part-time in the Faculty of Education, Australian Catholic University, Sydney.

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