Abortion: Grief, suffering – or relief?‏

We interviewed more than 25 women, their partners and experts in the medical profession. What struck me time and time again with the women's stories was that no matter how much personal danger they were in during their pregnancies, not one ever decided to terminate the pregnancy because of the severe risk to her health.

It didn't surprise me. As someone who was only able to become a mother at great cost to my own long term health, I knew in my marrow that if a woman wants the baby she is carrying, she will do everything to keep it.

Many of the women I interviewed were faced with the decision of what to do when tests revealed their baby had severe abnormalities. In each case, the women terminated the pregnancy. They and their partners generously shared those stories; the procedure, the sorrow, the child's name. There was great sadness, but there was acceptance.

That acceptance with their decision is something the women in Giving Sorrow Words do not have. Why? Because they obviously wanted the baby, but lacked the courage of their convictions and now want to blame others for their regret.

Women who really want the baby they are carrying will do anything to keep it. Women in a high-risk pregnancy require frequent hospitalisation, invasive tests, months of bed rest, painful daily injections – the list goes on. Birth is also a risky business for them.

Every story you read of a premature baby is the result of a high risk pregnancy. Suddenly the mother develops pre-eclampsia, a life threatening condition. Or her cervix opens up after 20 weeks, and the baby is born too early. Maybe it is her heart, kidneys, diabetes or a blood problem.

I recall one woman telling me "bleeding to death is a peaceful way to go", and another who despite painful daily injections, still developed a life-threatening blood clot after birth. Another had an eclamptic fit. Her husband was told she'd be brain injured and need a kidney transplant.

These women all went back and had another baby. Just as I did – knowing the cost to their health.

So I have no time for the women who can't get over their abortions. They obviously didn't want to have a termination in the first place. While I feel sorry for them, I also refuse to buy into the pro-life line that every abortion will cause grief.

Mzorek writes "The tortured lives of these women stand as testimony to what abortion offers." No it doesn't. Abortion offers just one thing only – an end to a pregnancy. You either accept that, or don't have an abortion.